Thursday, August 05, 2010


 So...I haven't posted in awhile because as you would guess, having 2 kids is WAY BUSIER and harder than one. At the end of the day (on my days off) I look around the house and think "Where did the day go?" I know I actually did stuff because I'm tired but if you look at the house no one would know. Having 2 tornadoes of mess does not equate to a clean house. Everytime I turn around there is yet another mess and it's generally in the place that I just cleaned. Even as I type this I look down and Evie has just thrown a crumbled up muffin on the floor that I just swept. Seriously???
Anywho, kiddo's have been doing fantastic!!! Evie is adjusting wonderfully and we are adjusting to her and the fact of having another baby in the house : )  It is such a stark contrast to the days when we first got Eves. I can't believe it's only been 3 months and how our feelings have changed. When she was placed in our arms and the consequent screaming, hitting, hair pulling, pinching directly at me for the next month I thought we had made the biggest mistake. I didn't understand, if she is supposed to be our daughter than why was this sooooo difficult? I couldn't understand Evie, I didn't get how she worked. I didn't have that immediate bond, the feeling that I just knew she was our child like I did with Jaili. It was the opposite of Jaili in everyway possible. It amazes me to think that only 2 1/2 short months ago I felt we had this little stranger who I didn't really care for living with us. I did the obligatory things to care for her and love her but the feelings were not there. It was a fake it till you make it thing. I apologize if I offend anyone reading this but I'm not one to sugar coat things. I believe in getting things out in the open and not hiding behind pleasantries.  I hope that other people can read this who  are in this situation and realize they are not  alone. Not all adoptions are bunnies and sunshine when you meet your child. Sometimes it's hell and fire. We had both. But I can say WOW what a difference time, patience, love, understanding, PRAYER, good support system and a commited family make.
I cannot imagine our lives without Evie in them now! She fits us so perfectly. It has been lots of hard work and continues to be but I can see the change and growth in Evie. She is becoming our child and not the little stranger in the house. The thing is that when you adopt a child who is not a little baby anymore and was raised by their foster parents they are little strangers. They don't have your habits, your personality quirks, your way of doing things. They have the foster parents or the people they have been raised with and around. It takes time for everyone to adjust. Evie is very sprited and had no discipline and didn't make eye contact on top of everything also. Shane and I needed to learn to adjust our parenting to suit Evie. We work with her everyday on looking at people (even if she can't see them) to make more eye contact (which she is doing GREAT at), we have to be not as lax's with Evie on redirecting her behaviors (Jaili is a point and shoot kid, especially now...Evie is a pusher of all things). I can honestly say that I LOVE Evie's spririt. It can be challenging, but I wouldn't want her any other way.  Eves is exuberant about everything. She is a very passionate little individual. She is loud, boistrous, happy, loving ,determined and stubborn. She is like the sun. Hot and intense but there is no comparison to warmth and life that it provides. I feel like I have the best of both worlds with my 2 girls. Jaili is thoughtful, analytical, extremely compassionate and has an understanding of things so far beyond her years it's almost creepy. She is me in a 4 yr old's body, I understand her with every cell in my body. Evie is so much more like my husband...constant energy : ) It takes more energy and patience on my part to  understand her but she is so worth it. I have a strong connection to Eves now, I'm getting what makes her tick. Oh and she gives the best hugs in the entire world. Full body conforming,arms around the neck, all encompassing hugs. They are Evie. All things done by her are at the fullest capacity.
Evie and Jaili are getting along like true sisters, fighting one minute loving each other the next. We've had lots of talks about respecting eachother and how we treat and talk to our family. Eves language is also developing so amazingly fast. She understands EVERYTHING we say to her now. She also says mommy, daddy, jei,jei, i did, sorry, thank you, drink,food, puppy, pillow, bunny, berry, that, and some more things that I'm not remembering now. As for her eyesight, we have another appointment at Casey Eye Institute in Sept to talk about surgery for her crossed eyes and nystagamus. They are estimating her vision to be about 20/700 with glasses so pretty bad vision. The only time you notice it though is when she is looking at books, she can't see the t.v., and when she is running and playing. If we get to far out of her eyesight she just sort of gazes into nowhere and listens for us. Not saying she can't run and play (she does everyday) you just have to be aware that you can't get more than about 50-60 feet away or she won't know where you are. I'm curious to see as she gets older for her to tell us what her she can see instead of just making educated guesses. Anywho, that's the ladies in a nutshell for now. We have 2 fantastically great kiddo's stubborness and all (for both of them). I added a few pictures that I've taken on my phone.

1 comment:

lalalorlor said...

I have been where you have - we had 2 fairytale adoptions and 1 not so fairytale. It was hard the first 3 months home with out son but like you, I faked it until I made it. 4 months in - I loved him with all my heart :)

Evie's eye sight is as bad as my two with albinism. My daughter came home at 5 years old and at 9 still cannot tell us what she sees because she has nothing to compare her sight to if that makes sense at all. I do know her and my son's eye sight got better in terms of depth perception after surgery and then somewhat better again when we got her in dark tinted contacts but it is what it is and thats the way God chose to make them. The only thing my daughter cant do is ride a 2 wheel bike - her vision isnt good enough but oh man you should see her fly on a 3 wheel bike!! My son can ride a 2 wheel bike because his far vision is better but close vision is worse so every one of our kids is different.